“My collaborators and I have been able to prove a variety… wait, that is probably not a great word to use in a math talk… a collection of results…” – Kate Thompson, AMS Contributed Paper Session in Number Theory. She later followed up with a similar joke when talking about something being “ideal”.
“I think we should do an experiment: change all the names of mathematicians, like Euler, Gauss, Lagrange, to female names, and see what happens.” – Karen Smith, AWM Noether Lecture.
“So, if you search for images related to standard L-series, this is what you get. This is the only image in my talk.” – Ellen Eischen, AMS Special Session in Number Theory and Cryptography, showing us some tractors.
“I’m really only going to talk about elliptic curves, but to me higher genus means any genus greater than 0.” – Dave Morrison, AMS Special Session on Higher Genus Curves and Fibrations of Higher Genus Curves in Physics and Arithmetic Geometry.
Evelyn Lamb (to Barry Cipra in the press room): Do you have any career advice?” Barry: “Marry well.”
I realize that these jokes/quotes are maybe only funny to me. Any other quotes you want to share? Post in the comments or tweet them with #jmm16.